Wednesday, January 12, 2022

First Love

 Let me be your first love.

Let me be the lover
who knows you for you,
With who you were true.

Let me be the love
That was pure.
That knew only bounds
of imagination.

Let me be that dream,
That keept you up every night,
That keept you going every day,
That promised the truth in life.

Let it be known, though,
You may choose to out grow my love.
That, You may choose to run after what else glitters.
Illusions that you know will break.
Mirages that aren't there.
Falls without the trust,
Face first into the dust.

Let me be the vision then,
Of what love meant to you
Back when it all began,
When i was just another illusion,
Without the chase.
When there was no other.
When it wasn't about fancy clothes or pretty faces.

Take strength, from my love for you then,
When you feel there's nothing to fight for.
If you do seek me then,
Don't run further in vain.
Just stop and breathe,
You'll feel me in the pain...
and It'll never be the same again.

-Kingshaw
12.01.2022

Monday, December 27, 2021

A Fan

 Let me be your fan

Your follower.
The one who likes what you do,
Shares your perspective.
The one who tells the world,
Through your eyes,
How beautiful diversity is.

Let me be the one,
Who stands by your side,
When things don't feel right,
When you may think you need aid.
Let me be the faith,
That you are heard,
That you are right,
That it's ok.
OK to breathe,
OK to believe,
OK to just be,
OK to be, you-and-me.

Let me tell you too,
That I seek no more,
Than to know that you are happy.
That you are enjoying your journey,
That you are doing well,
That you have stories to tell.

For I too am a seeker,
A mere seer in the sea.
Who has only to take,
And little to give,
Just a thought, no plan.
For I am, but your humble fan. 

Monday, April 26, 2021

Just Another Girl!

 Chapter 1

            It was around noon and satvik was on schedule for his interview. He had randomly received a call a few days ago, from an executives at one of the leading private banks. He had not expected he would get a call from prospective employers just a day after he had submitted his resume to one of the numerous internet job portals.

The call had been as much a surprise as it had been cherished, for his sister had been nagging him to take up some work since he had finished his graduation a few months ago. He knew if he could get this job listed on his resume, he would not just be envied by his friends but would also be able to rub it the faces of all his teachers. Throughout his college life they had made sure he felt there was no hope for him or his future. He hadn’t had much luck with the campus placement cell either but was quiet optimistic about this interview. He knew a lot was at stake.

He stood at the foot of the gate of the building, and a massive structure surrounded by a vast garden with various breath taking landscapes and a small pool in the middle stood in front of him. He would often cross the building on his way to his college, but this wasn’t quiet the building he had thought he would have to enter everyday for work. He made his way to the exotically furnished lobby, too fancy and rich for his taste. It then occurred to him how easy it would be for people to come and deposit huge amounts of money in a banking concern that looked like this. With a sea of people swarming around him, he realized how hectic life was going to be. He remembered the articles from the newspapers and magazines which he had read about the bank, and was struck by the gravity of the role he might be able to play in its future.

He made his way to the reception, and was met with an acknowledging smile. After verification of certain documents he was given a roll number. He was then escorted to a huge room somewhere inside the building and was asked to sit at a bench with other young interviewees, apparently who had all come in for the same job profile.

The good news was that there were a handful of vacancies, but looking at the numbers that were turning up, he didn’t quiet think that it mattered. There was an air of nervousness which hung silently above the room. It was evident that the newspapers, coffee machines and the TV sets hanging on the walls, were not able to serve their purpose of making the young candidates feel at home. At the coffee machine more of small talk was being made than coffee, and small groups had started to form. With everyone nervous and clueless most talk was chit chat and blabber.

Satvik glanced up at the wall clock in front of him and the hands seemed to have stuck, they had hardly moved since the last time he saw them. By now the already crowded hall seemed stifling to him. A weird silence had griped the room, with talks in whispers, and the occasional call of roll numbers which had been allotted to them on arrival.

He was confident that he would bag the job once he got into the chamber with the interviewer, but the wait was too much to bear.

The fact that they hadn’t seen a single candidate come out of the interview chamber once they had been called scared everyone.  Even though no one said it, but they all wanted to know what was being asked in the interview. Just a look on the face of someone who had been interviewed would’ve been sufficiently reassuring. It seemed as if the room ate anyone who dared to enter it.

Satvik had started to get restless. His eyes began wandering through out the room. They were browsing through the group of people standing in the corner of the room and his eyes met those of a girl’s. It happened just for a second, and then she started going through some sheets she was holding in her hands.

Standing somewhere in the midst of the heard she didn’t seem interested in the conversation to which the rest of the crowd seemed to be bound by every word. She was what he would’ve said was an average looking girl, but something about her was compelling and he was dumbstruck trying to figure out what that was.

He wondered if it was the irony of her light green eyes, that gave her face a juvenile look and the innocence of a child all at the same time, he knew there were some secrets which those eyes withheld, or if it was her unkempt hair which gave her a girlish charm, it made her look more like a free spirit but at the wrong place, or if it were her lips which gave away a kind of sensuality, with which the rest of her body did not get along well.

Satvik started contemplating love at first sight and he knew that it wasn’t. This was something different. He had never felt like this before. He felt a need to take care of this girl. The innocence of her face inspired him to reach out to her.

He could feel a sudden rush of energy in himself. He had just acquired a need to know who the girl was, a name, an address, which college had she gone to, was she single, anything at all. He kept staring at her face he didn’t care if it seemed rude. He wanted her to see him. He didn’t even know if she had noticed him. He felt like walking up to her and talking to her, to ask her who she was, to ask her if she had felt the same connection.

It was a while before he realized that his roll number was being called out, apparently it was the 3rd repetition, the most times yet. He had to go into the interview chamber, but he didn’t want to leave yet. No, not before he knew she had seen him. He stood there, by now everyone was getting restless, the roll number had been called a fourth time, with a warning of it being the final call and then it happened.

She looked up and saw Satvik staring at her, her expression changed and she seemed more curious than offended, which later changed to awkwardness and a sudden realization of where they were. He gave her once last glance before both of them looked away. Satvik picked up his files and marched towards the interview hall knowing that something had changed.

***

P.S.: I'm publishing this on 27.04.2021 at 02:14AM as was pending as draft since 2010 without editing it. This was originally published on 20th Nov, 2010 at 01:26AM but when I logged in today after maybe 8-9 years it was pending as draft. The one thing I derive from the peculiarity in the timing of publishing over nearly a decade apart is that somethings never change like my love for late night work on my blogs.

P.P.S.: I could not have fathomed the prevailing Coronavirus pandemic, when I had first written this, but it is this pandemic that gave me the time to step back and reflect over who I am and what I stand for. This blog is but a reflection of 'I', merely the tip of the iceberg if I may say. Some of these poems I had written even before 2010, some I will find and update. These are funny, if not to you, then atleast to me. For they give me an insight into my own reflections of life. There are many, I can't say 'Answers' but advancements (maybe) in understanding of 'I', the most reflective of which is definitively #Chalteraho.

Friday, February 11, 2011

The Unsung Warrior


What it feels like, to be
someone like me,
You may never come to know.

We are the ones,
who crave for fame.
We are the ones,
who want their name
to come up and shine,
always waiting,
for our time.

Some fool once said,
every “DOGG” has his day.
That, heaven will come,
pave you the way,
to glory, to love
to all of the sky
and stars above.
So we keep on waiting,
so we keep on wanting,
so we keep on dreaming,
these dreams, we have.
Of the suns and moons,
and crowns and jewels.
We march to the beats,
and dance to the tunes.

Not knowing, not wanting to know,
no one there… it’s just u k-shAw.
The will to prove,
no storm can move.
To make them see,
you are the sea!
To make them feel,
you too are real!

We sound the “BEGUL”,
and march, the unknown.
We strode these paths again alone.
No one there to give us a hand,
it’s the test of time, we have to stand!

It’s too hard, and life is cruel,
but we are warriors, and this adds up to fuel.

You cannot understand
the urge, the burden,
the need to win.
When you stand alone, not next to kin!

We fight and fight,
and fight and fight.
We fight be it day or night.
We fight on till the break of light.

We fight even when the winds are high,
We fight on, up there in the sky.
We fight on land, we fight at sea.
We have to fight, wherever we may be.

We fight the crime,
We fight the time,
We fight, for every single dime.

We are the crusaders.
We are the creators.
To god’s will,
We are the mediators!

We are who make your world go round.
To your words we are not bound!
We are the ones, who do the work.
We are the ones who make it work!
We are the ones, who bear the heat.
We are the ones who bruise their feet.
We are the ones, who don’t retreat,
‘Coz, when we walk there’s no defeat!

***

Note: this started as a depressing poem (I was beat up), and I felt the name of the poem should be looser, before I started writing! The initial tone of the poem if you’ll notice is quite negative, but then the poem gradually turned positive, and it took the shape of what you can see above! I hope you like it! Read on!

KshAw

***

#chalteraho

P.S.: Originally published on 11/02/2011 20:05

LOVE


To some u are the light,
to some u give the freight.
You are, what some always seek,
even though you are,
what makes them weep…

You come, in different shapes and forms.
Form different sources you arise,
always having different plans no fixed norms.
Always there to surprise,
astonish and thrill, and
of-course not to forget,
those telephone bills.

You are what makes the world go round,
in every heart you shall be found…
A will, a desire,
a heat, a fire…
You are much more to ecstasy and lust.
As such, You inspire trust.

An eagerness, a will to hold,
the One…
To tell them what You even fear telling yourself.
To beg forgiveness, to ask for help.
To let them know, you care.
For them you are always there.
The joy of watching them smile,
the thought of letting out your inner child…

Being, what You want to be.
Being where you want to be.
Breathing for them,
Bleeding for them…

But, if not found.
You become the meaning of life.
The journey, the HAJ.
The sorrow, the grudge.
The need of care,
 the need to share.
The need for some one to be there…

Many an ASHIQ,
You have swallowed.
Many a DEVDAS
Have since followed.
For centuries,
you have made poets sing,
and thoughts of ROMEO-JULIETE
 have ever since clinged…

You are the biggest mystery,
always making history.
Un-explainable, no one can elaborate.
But you always leave thoughts,
to cherish and celebrate.

NOTE: Inspired. I hope the whole world can feel this way. ONE LOVE!

FAITH



I try to hold u close
to my heart,
when it’s cold and dark all around.
The light, the ray of hope,
the warmth, the love,
the joy, life.
It means to me, it all.

The only hope,
when there is no scope.
Innocence and affection,
You shower on me.
You rain on me,
with drops of what’s lost.
The care, the presence of You,
The feeling of not being alone anymore…

A touch, a crease,
a kiss, a tease…
A wish, a thought,
can do a lot…
Just believe,
and life is just..
Just believe,
in what u do.
Just believe,
 and u can do.
Just believe,
in you.
Just believe…

NOTE: inspired by a beloved friend, the innocence and the purity You have, gives me hope, for this world. That still some things are there worth living for… FAITH!

***
Originally published on 11/02/2011 20:02

Sunday, September 19, 2010

An Extraordinary Love Story


                Om seemed lost in the desert. He thought about his life that had been beautiful all through till he ended up at this place. Though the beauty of the desert was something to die for he could not come to persuade himself from taking his eyes off that one particular sand dune which lay before his very eyes.

Since his early childhood, all he could remember was playing in the lap of his mother, the Mediterranean sea, and watching the cool blue ocean which stretched on for miles. From where he was situated, high in the sky, he could see the horizon and a sparkling gold like stretch of never ending, gleaming sand awaiting him.

While his brothers and sisters had been busy complaining about the long & tiring journey they would have to endure when the winds start to blow, he could not hide is excitement to be able to travel near to the shiny golden horizon that he saw every single day.

Even though his mother, the sea, would tell him that his duty was to travel with the winds and the rest of the clouds, to rain over the central African rainforests. He would always ask her about the desert that lay in between. She would tell him that it was not a nice place, it had no water or life for miles, but he would have none of it. Eventually the sea would tell him all about the magnificent desert, of its sand dunes, the whirlwinds, and of all the secret treasures it has engulfed.

Soon enough the time came, and all the clouds were filled with excitement as the winds had started to blow them to their destiny. Om could hardly contain his excitement; he bid his mother goodbye, knowing he’d never be able to see her again. The anticipation of what lay ahead, had him exhilarated.

He sang along, watching his brothers and sisters, some who had been caught by a stronger wind blow past him, while some slowly drifted behind him. All he could think about was that he would finally get to be where he wanted to be.

It didn’t take much time before he had left the sea, and started to float over land. Everything around him was new, it was a beautiful sight, he saw what was, told to him by his mentor wind, were plants, animals and smaller bodies of water, which were called rivers and lakes.

The wind would listen to what ever he said and answered every one of his questions. He came to know that the wind was many a thousand years old. It would keep traveling all over the planet where ever the flow took it. It had amassed years of wisdom and seemed to know about everything Om may have wanted to know.

They had started to leave behind the sparse pieces of civilization, which they had encountered till now. Om was getting closer to his dream, his desire. He could feel the gleam of the desert right in front of him, and he realized it was even more beautiful than what he had imagined.

He started floating over the sand dunes and was in awe of the sight he withheld. An endless glow of the sand, in front of him, behind him and in every possible direction he could look at.

He questioned the wind, why does he have to go to some far off place when all he wanted to do was float gently over the desert. He told the wind that the desert felt like home to him. The wind got agitated, never in his life had he heard such a nuisance. The whole thought seemed wrong as per nature to him.  

The wind tried to reason with Om, it tried to tell him that it was not meant to be, it was not what nature had intended. Had nature wanted him to rain on the desert, it would have given life to the desert and not just sand.

The wind realized that Om was not listening, his eyes were set upon a sand dune, one like which even the wind had never seen before. It gave away a golden shine when the sunlight struck its sand. Om had stopped and the wind knew it had nearly lost him.

He tried one last reasoning with Om, he prayed, that no other cloud had ever done this before. Om came back with; no cloud must have felt the way I feel today. The wind argued that, his brothers and sisters would be waiting for him at the forest, Om replied by saying that he had already spent half his life with them.

The wind saw that it was loosing the argument, it made a valiant effort, by telling him how beautiful the forest is, with its lush green trees and the numerous floras and fauna, Om said; all the beauty of the world, for him lay in that sand dune at that moment of time, and no other beauty could match it.

The wind was not ready to take such drivel, it threatened Om that it would leave him there, Om drew a slight smile, and the wind realized that this was exactly what he wanted. The wind had accepted defeat and gave Om his best wishes, and gently guided him to the sand dune.

***

Om neared the sand dune, still awestruck by her beauty. He jotted up courage and told her, that her beauty was enchanting and that he could not take his eye off of her. She blushed making her glow more radiant. Om was more in love now. The sand dune replied by saying, she too was noticing him conversing in the sky with the wind. She told him, that this was the first time ever that a cloud had fought with the wind for a sand dune.

Om told her about his childhood dreams of staying over the desert, and of all the stories his mother had recited to him. He said he always knew that his love was a treasure of the desert, and proposed his love to her.

The sand dune accepted his appreciation and said that she too would reciprocate the feelings.
To Om life seemed beautiful, he started rumbling and thundering with happiness. He wanted to stay with her forever. He knew that, the winds and the heat in the desert would not let him. He told her what was troubling her, and she consoled him by saying, that she knew it was all going to turn out alright and there was no need to be alarmed. She insisted that they should enjoy each others company at least while they were together.

 Om told her that he always wanted to be with her, and the only way to be able to do that; was for him to rain on her. The sand dune could not help but shed a tear, stating that he would perish if he rained. Om tried to comfort her by telling her that, this way he would always be with her and nothing could take them apart.

The sand dune could not hide her sorrow and began to weep, Om wept with her Om wanted to show her how much he loved her. He closed his eyes bearing in mind a last memory of her gleaming golden sand and poured his heart out. He rained heavily on her till every drop of him had been shed. Soon he perished. It was a miraculous sight, that of rain on the desert sand.

***

In a distance the clouds could see that a cloud had started to rain. There was panic and a rumor grew that the forest had come. They geared up and followed in the foot steps of the cloud in the distance.

Soon one after the other numerous clouds gathered up and started to rain on and near the spot, where the first cloud had rained.

***

It had been years and the wind had grown fond of this particular route. This was the route where it had last met the most distinct cloud. Om was the name, if the wind recalled correctly, and that it did, after all it had thousands of years of experience and wisdom.

Even though the path was the same, something seemed amiss, how could there be an oasis in this part of the desert, it was not there, the last time the wind had blown through the region. How could there be such lush green trees and beautiful lakes in the middle of such a perilous desert.

Had the wind lost its flow! Was it not on the right path! The wind was puzzled, it could not comprehend having had made any wrong turns on the way, after all it had been through this region hundreds of times before.

There was a sudden glimpse of gold from the oasis and the wind realized, there was something familiar about it. This was where the cloud, Om, had left the wind, for the dune he loved. The wind realized what might have happened over the past few years and was filled with a new sense of animation.

It realized that the power of love had prevailed, and it gushed through the oasis with all its strength and looking back knew that it had been recognized.
'Kingshaw '


Originally Published on 20/09/2010 04:15